“It’s been thirty-six days, twenty-two hours, eleven minutes and eight seconds since the worst day of my life.”
Janelle Beckley never imagined she’d be that girl.
The girl who cheats and lies.
The girl who abuses painkillers and uses self-harm as a coping mechanism.
The girl who would willingly break her own heart just to keep her secrets safe.
But when she’s raped while on a family vacation, her carefully-crafted world falls apart. Convinced it’s now easier to be that girl than to tell the truth, Janelle decides to stay silent. Besides, who would forgive her for the things she’s done when she can’t even forgive herself?
As Janelle struggles to put her life back together, her demons pull her in deeper and deeper, threatening to consume her entirely. If she’s going to overcome them, she has to finally admit the truth: to her family; to her friends; to herself. But can the one person she’s lied to the most find a way to forgive in time to save her? Or will redemption come too late?
After all, one mistake can change everything.
For fans of Thirteen Reasons Why, Speak, and The Way I Used to Be, this coming-of-age debut explores the aftermath of sexual violence and the destructiveness of self-blame, reminding us that the road to forgiveness must start with yourself.
Julia Bodwell, Author 